The Attitude of Gratitude

This year I had the unusual pleasure of attending Thanksgiving chapel at three different Episcopal schools.  It’s as if God knows when we need to hear the message more than once! Here is the message I heard in three, different, compelling ways with three different communities: as we move away from the holiday of Thanksgiving and into the season marked by giving and receiving, let us take with us the attitude of gratitude. If we could adopt the spirit of thanksgiving all year long, everything – yes, everything – would change.

At our Thanksgiving chapel this year, Bishop Scott Benhase reminded us that “the prayer of thanksgiving precedes all prayers, and the attitude of thanksgiving precedes all other virtues.”  An attitude of thanksgiving must come first before all else.

At the Thanksgiving chapel at St. Andrew’s School in Middletown, DE, the Headmaster, Tad Roach, described various levels of gratitude.  At its simplest level, thanksgiving is expressed in notes and cards, by saying please and thank you as we teach young people to do, and acknowledging an act of kindness from someone.  At a higher level of gratitude, we contemplate and consider the blessings of many people in our lives – parents, friends, teachers, mentors, and others who have loved and supported us.  At a higher, more developed stage of gratitude, we begin to understand the countless unknown people who have contributed through sacrifice to our well-being, safety, and pursuit of happiness. When we think about the concept of Thanksgiving this way, Roach says, “We see that giving thanks frees us from the temptation to see ourselves as the center of the universe, magically entitled to privileges, rights, resources, and honors…When we give thanks, we begin to peel away what George Eliot calls ‘our moral stupidity’ – our inability to see that our own desires, our own needs, our own anxieties, and our own preoccupations fade away in complete insignificance in light of the human drama going on all around us.”

The highest level of thanksgiving, according to Roach, is expressed when we live out this gratitude in celebration of the human spirit and God’s love for us – when we become the giver of sacrificial support rather than merely the recipient.  When we choose to live, speak, and act in ways that are more civil, more humane, and more generous, we become Thanksgiving.

So let us not leave Thanksgiving behind. Let us embrace it and take it with us into this season of Advent.  Let’s make an attitude of gratitude our shield and defense against the selfish, profane lopsided priorities that can so easily hijack the season of Christmas and the entry into a new year. If we could adopt the spirit of Thanksgiving all year long, everything – yes, everything – could change.

The EDS Advantage

GREAT NEWS! Please read this, because you probably either don’t know it or you take it for granted.  We all do. It’s hiding right in front of us in plain sight, but we get distracted and become focused on other, less important matters.

Here’s the bottom line: as parents we are missing the boat when we hyper-focus on singular, narrow variables in an academic program (e.g., relatively minor variations in grades, test-scores, class sizes, homework, etc.).  We disadvantage our children when we protect them from adversity, conflict, and even failure.  We disservice them when we de-emphasize the value and importance of non-academic learning and experiences.

Don’t get me wrong, I am as big an academic snob as anyone you will find, and I want students on the most rigorous path for which they are capable.  But the research is clearer that this can only be achieved if students are simultaneously developing non-cognitive skills and character traits. Even more importantly, the deliberate development of non-cognitive skills will lead to greater professional success and sense of well-being.

Here’s what’s not news:  This is the fundamental principle upon which EDS was founded. EDS wasn’t created because there was a shortage of places for Augusta’s children to learn math and read great works.  EDS was created to help young people develop their whole selves into well-rounded and well-grounded citizens and children of God.  We are intentional and purposeful about this in ways that exceed any other schools in the area. We understand that attention to this aspect of development supports academic progress and leads to more effective citizens with higher levels of satisfaction. For example:

·      We are the only school in the area that has a required PreK3-8th religion, religious history, and theology course of curriculum, complemented by daily prayer and pledge, weekly chapel, and monthly communion, led by a full time ordained chaplain.

·      Our students have the most extensive available public speaking and presentation training, practice and experience in PreK-8^th grades.

·      We have an intentional leadership curriculum, including authentic leadership roles and experiences, that has been upheld as a national model of excellence by the Council for Spiritual and Ethical Education.

·      We don't just take school trips, we’ve taken the care to develop a scope and sequence of integrated experiential education programming into all grades as community experiences.

·      When anti-bullying programs became the trend, EDS aimed higher and developed CORE, an integrated approach, involving parents, teachers, and students in an ongoing effort to promote the kind of school culture for which we strive.

·      Our teachers have worked to identify a specific set of non-cognitive, affective skills as part of our Core Outcomes, along with rubrics for determining progress.

·      Our teachers all believe that the character traits they are teaching are as central and important as the academic content.

·      We create formative experiences in which students face appropriate challenge, conflict, and adversity as teaching tools.

·      We are one of only 18 top schools in the country who take this information seriously enough to partner with ETS in developing the first-ever, scientifically supported non-cognitive skill assessment for middle school students.

I could go on, but you get the point.  I haven’t even touched upon our commitment to the formative programs in the arts and athletics, the fact that we have a full-time nurse unequalled in her qualifications and experience, the team approach we take to problem-solving and conflict resolution, and our commitment of time and money to professional development.

The links below clearly reveal that these things matter.  They help academic achievement and they lead to success, meaning, and satisfaction.  At EDS we don’t just strive to do schooling better, we strive to do better schooling.

This American Life podcast from 9/14 about non-cognitive skills:

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/474/back-to-school

Which Traits Predict Success from Wired.com science blog:

http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2011/03/what-is-success-true-grit/

Back to School: Why Grit is More Important Than Good Grades from Time Magazine

http://ideas.time.com/2012/09/05/why-grit-is-more-important-than-grades/

Research from the Universities of Michigan and Rhode Island show the positive results of perseverance, love, gratitude, and prudence:

http://deepblue.lib.umich.edu/bitstream/2027.42/55841/1/398_ftp.pdf

My Sept. 10 blog entry (in case you missed it) about the Stanford study of the impact of awe:

http://beyondmurraysmusings.blogspot.com/

Inspiring Awe

As part of a weekly reflection from the Executive Director of the National Association of Episcopal Schools, The Rev. Dan Heischman introduced us to a fascinating article in livescience.com about a recent study: “Stanford University researchers have discovered that awe—as opposed to joy or other positive emotions—gives people the sense that time has slowed down…[they] reported feeling less hurried. What’s more, they turned out to be, as a group, more likely to donate their money to charity, less absorbed with materials goods, and generally reported higher levels of satisfaction with their lives.”

Heischman comments, “As she put it, gazing at a mountain vista, a stunning landscape, or listening to a great symphony may well turn out to help people…There are few things that we hope more for our students than that they feel less rushed in the rat race of life, more patient, and more compassionate toward others. So, too, we wish them to be generous, less materialistic, and feel a certain level of satisfaction with life.”

It appears that helping students experience a sense of awe promotes these outcomes.  And EDS promotes awe.  I will think about this next week while I am in the middle of Pisgah National Forest overlooking God’s awesome creation while on the 8^th grade Outward Bound trip.  This is just one of the many ways we get students into the natural world to discover and marvel at creation.  Our new hands-on science curriculum is all about exploring the awe-inspiring miracle of creation.  But it’s not just in the natural world. I’ve watched our teachers inspire awe in the discovery of the power of a great book, the magic of numbers, the stories of great leaders and history-shapers, the beauty of music and art, and most of all in the exploration of the mystery of faith.  Who is better equipped to promote opportunities to experience awe than an Episcopal school community that prays together, reads and studies the great story of Judeo-Christian history, and worships as a community in a beautiful, awe-inspiring chapel?

I’ve known all along that we promote the experience of awe at EDS.  What Dan Heischman pointed out to me is that there is a new study that confirms the benefits.  Just another value-added of the EDS experience.

A Great New Year

When the alarm goes off tomorrow and you struggle through the early morning preparations, it might feel as though it's the beginning of yet another year of school in a long education career. But it's not merely that. Take a minute to use your crystal ball and think about all that will happen this year for each individual child. It will be a year of amazing, miraculous, mysterious, and magical growth and transformation.

Think about it: in addition to academic preparation that matches the best schools in the country, each EDS student will add riches to his or her treasure trove of formational experiences and memories. They will experience what it means to live in community. They will experience new benefits from that community as well as new levels of personal responsibility.   Through whatever happens in their world this year, they will experience daily life in a community that prays and worships together.

Some students will suddenly discover the magic of reading or the liberating power of tying one's own shoe. Third graders will transform into a famous historical figure while fourth graders will conduct in-depth research on a state, and both will be creatively presented to the entire community. Fifth graders will sing and dance their way through a major musical theater production, and the eighth grade will practice five days of leave no trace living in the backcountry.

These are just a few examples of the major experiential events integrated into the EDS curriculum. Remember also that every day EDS students will be adding to their treasure chests through experiences intentionally planned by us as well as those that are simply part of life happening.

They will experience triumph and setbacks, conflict and conflict resolution. They will experience the humanity of those less fortunate and the joy of service to others.

We take seriously our mission to prepare students not just for high school but for life in this shrinking, rapidly changing 21st century world. Therefore we have intentionally crafted an amazing set of experiences in the context of a remarkable community of care that will enrich their preparation by building resilience, problem solving, community mindedness, humility, compassion, and so much more.

So fasten your seatbelts. It's not just another year at EDS; it's a year in which your child will grow and transform before your very eyes - in ways expected and unexpected. And watch out. You might also!

Somehow each day, brick by brick, a foundation is built.

Have you noticed that as we get older, days pass more slowly but the years more quickly. As quickly as it passed, though, I can’t believe all that has been accomplished in this year. Has it really been only a year? So much has happened. These children have changed and grown in remarkable ways. The kindergarteners are ready for first grade, our 5th graders are ready for the new challenges of middle school, and our 8th graders are more than ready to lead and excel in their high school of choice. How does this happen?

It seems so miraculous at times. Just blink and the world is transformed -- especially the children within it. Over the course of one short year, how many firsts does a child experience at EDS? How many children read their first sentence this year? How many learned new strategies for multiplication and division? How many read the Preamble to the Constitution for the first time? How many made a new friend or learned the value of saying, “I’m sorry.”

If we had a stop-action camera and time to watch, we could capture and focus on each and every one of these moments – like watching a caterpillar transform into a butterfly on the Discovery channel. But we don’t. We can’t. We are busy living our lives, and we wake up one day to realize the place is in full, glorious bloom.

Somehow each day, brick by brick, a foundation is built. A foundation – for learning, for relationships, for lives of meaning -- that will serve these children wherever they choose to go. There is miracle and mystery at work in that transformation at EDS, and for that we give thanks to God. But there is also a great deal of human labor -- teachers giving, teaching, loving, re-teaching. And for that we also give thanks to the people of EDS

--Thanks to all who helped support the school through the annual fund, major gifts, planned giving, and endowment support. These bring the resources that take us from good to great.

--Thanks for the work, fellowship, and fund-raising efforts on behalf of the school by the Parent Association and all who participated in Association events and activities.

--Thanks to the volunteer members of the Board of Trustees who ensure that the school is sound and who work tirelessly to secure its future in ways that most people never know.

--Thanks to all the wonderful teachers who give and give and give to children as if they were their own.

--Thanks to each and every parent, who fights the occasional battle over getting out of bed, getting homework done, or getting in dress code -- the parents who every day focus on success and excellence for their children and make the necessary sacrifices so their children may have the strongest possible foundation for learning and for life.

--Thanks to all of the faculty and staff who are not classroom teachers but who none the less teach valuable lessons about life and love every day: “Your work is Love made visible.”

--Thanks mostly to the incredible students in our school. They are not just the purpose for our being here, they are the joy that lights up each day and lightens each burden.

Through all these efforts each day, together we build and sustain a school that adds value to the community. For the children, we build a foundation, brick by brick. A foundation – for learning, for relationships, for lives of meaning -- that will serve them wherever they choose to go.

There is miracle and mystery at work here, and for that, most of all, we give thanks to God.

Have a great summer and read some good books!

Through the Eyes of Others

It’s a rare gift to be able to see yourself on occasion through the eyes of others, and recently EDS has experienced that privilege. Over the past several weeks we have had talented, experienced educators with both public and private school backgrounds spend significant time on campus. We organize extensive visits for candidates for teaching and administrative positions because we want to get a full picture of them in a variety of contexts and with different constituencies, but also because we want them to get a full and honest picture of who we are. I meet with candidates at the end of their time with us in part to gather their reflections. Now, of course, in these sessions one wouldn’t expect an applicant to be overly critical, but you might expect only vague or general niceties from someone unimpressed. In our case these educators’ responses have been unusually specific, detailed, and – most interestingly – consistent from candidate to candidate. As I sat in meeting after meeting listening to how these folks have experienced and observed us, I kept thinking, “Oh how I wish the faculty could hear this” or “I wish our parents could be in this room right now.” It finally occurred to me that I could review my notes and offer some notable quotes from these meetings.

Most remarkable was the consistency with which nearly every candidate opened his or her observations. Every one started with something like, “This is an incredibly warm, loving environment.” They also noted the friendly, collegial nature of the faculty, and how happy the students seem. Many remarked with some surprise at how welcoming the students are, often initiating conversation, looking them in the eye, shaking their hands, etc. And they noted that the school is child-centric, oriented around the needs and well being of students.

In addition to these broad observations about the school climate they universally made, below are just some of the individual observations I collected from them:

“I observed some really fine teaching.”

“I’m really impressed with the way everyone works together and the climate of respect – for each other and for the students.”

“The website was extremely helpful and informative, and the school matches the image presented there.”

“The curriculum is impressive.”

“I really enjoyed the students; they were so engaging, and they really love their school.”

“I’m impressed by the vision for the future that people have for the school.”

“The most important thing to me in my search is the climate and culture of the school, and EDS has exactly the ‘feel’ I am looking for.”

“These teachers really know their stuff AND know the kids. It was fun to watch.”

“I can see why good teachers would want to stay here.”

“They are working hard and having fun. That’s a great balance.”

“I could see the Holy Spirit at work here – and not just in chapel but throughout the school.”

"Your third grade has a tea that honors Shakespeare? That's very, very cool. You do things here that are simply wonderful!"

Sometimes we forget or take for granted what an unusually special place this is in which to study, learn, work, play, pray and be. I invite you to step back and see us through the eyes of educators who collectively have been in a vast array of schools around the area and country and who rather quickly picked up on our strong identity, clear mission, and special culture.

Were you paying attention?

Wherever you were last week, I hope you took time to notice the remarkable story of Bubba Watson, the wonder of Spring’s rejuvenation of nature, and most of all the mystery and miracle of Easter. All around us the story of hope was resounding; the reality of rebirth was flowering; and we were reminded once again that there are forces much greater than ourselves at play.

So often – especially as parents – we get hyper-focused on our little world and the daily ups and downs.  We too quickly lose perspective. We blow small things out of proportion. Most importantly, we lose sight of the big picture, the larger story at play – the story in which we are but a part. The Easter story is our story, and the arc of human history is ours.

Our culture makes a big deal of New Years, and I tout the promise of school starting. But is there really any better time than now to put our lives back in perspective and focus on what really matters? In the midst of all of our busy-ness and attempts to foster the illusion that we have control over our lives, is there any better time than now to be reminded of our greater call and purpose? This is the joy and beauty of being a part of Episcopal Day School.  As we do the daily business of school, we are also intentional about staying mindful of God’s will and purpose at work through us. There is something much larger than us – individually and collectively – at work in this place. Are you paying attention?

What matters?

What do these terms mean:  the average American, middle class, the typical American voter, one percenters, conservative, liberal, moderate?

I honestly am not sure.  We hear (and use) these terms – and several others – nearly every day, but they defy clear definition. Ask 100 people to define them, and you’ll get 100 different answers.

What I do know is that these terms typically over-simplify a complex reality.  They tend to artificially group us and unnecessarily divide us.

I know that every day provides evidence that the average American is ill-informed, disengaged, selfish, petty, shallow, and greedy – just watch the news and reality tv. Every day also provides reminders of the greatness of the American spirit and character.  Average Americans built the greatest and most innovative country on the planet.  The most notable thing about Medal of Honor recipient Bruce Crandall, who spoke to our middle school the other day (click here for slideshow), is that he is just a regular American guy.  It makes you wonder about the capacity of all those regular American soldiers you see in airports across the nation.  Every day provides stories of success, triumph, and everyday heroism (just talk to any employed single parent, for instance, about their lives).

I don’t know what to make of all this. I don’t know if we are in decline, ascendancy, or holding pat.  I don’t know what all the political, economic, social, and religious turmoil means about us or for us.

All I know is that education can make a difference.  Education can matter.

Some schools were created to provide citizens with basic minimum literacy. Some schools were created to protect the privilege of the wealthy. Some schools were created to bypass racial integration.  EDS was created with a different mission; EDS was created to make a difference; and we hold true to that mission today.

So we don’t just teach reading, writing, and arithmetic.  We teach our students to think and analyze carefully. We teach them how to communicate effectively to a variety of audiences in multiple contexts and through a variety of media.  We teach discernment and judgment.  We explore creative expression, aesthetic sensibility, and courage. We don’t teach just scientific information, we teach the scientific method.  We teach a second language, but we also teach multi-cultural competency. We teach them how to be safe and healthy AND that their bodies are God’s temple. We teach and practice both leadership and followership and to consider when which is appropriate.  We teach personal confidence and capacity, and we teach humility and perspective. We teach them that they have unfathomable capabilities as individuals but that they have no meaning without community.  We teach and practice resilience and perseverance, compassion and service.  We teach the Bible, and we teach theological thinking. We teach them that they are God’s creation and part of his plan. And so, so much more.

I don’t know what to make of what’s going on in the world, but I know what we are about at EDS.  We are on a mission.  For the sake of each individual child, for the sake of the family, and for the sake of the larger community, we are doing our best to equip them with the skills, knowledge, and attributes that they will need to not only make sense of the world to come but to have a positive impact on it – for their own sakes, for the sake of their fellow man, and for the sake of our loving Creator.

EDS: an education that matters.