Our assembly last week with Medal of Honor recipient Sgt. First Class Sammy Davis was a remarkable experience. There was hardly a dry eye in the house by the end. We watched a DVD (from the Medal of Honor book) in which he tells the story of the events for which he was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor. After that he answered questions from students
for about 45 minutes, ending only because he had another engagement, not because there was any shortage of questions from the students or any sign of fatigue on his part. During the time, he allowed his medal to be passed among the 160+ people in the audience, “I want everyone to touch it.” By the end of our hour together, I assure you that he touched everyone there.
He made a dozen unscripted comments in that exchange that are worth discussing in a column like this, but today I’ll explore the one he repeated with noticeable frequency, “I was just doin’ my job.” With true and sincere humility, he explained to us the rigorous training he had received so that when the critical time came he did not have to think about what was the right thing to do; he simply “did my job.”
Clearly he was being overly modest, and there was much more to his accomplishment and heroism. Not many of us could have (or would have) done what he did, despite all the training in the world. None the less, he was making a very important point. In many ways, I think this is a huge part of the hidden value of an EDS education. Much of the real value of the student’s experience here does not emerge, does not come into play, until much later. As Father Fain once said in a meeting of the EDS Board of Trustees, in which we were discussing possible amendments to the by-laws, “I guess you really don’t need by-laws and don’t see their relative value – weak or strong – under normal circumstances. It’s in times of difficulty that you need them, and need them to be well-designed and strong” (or words very much to that effect).
I suppose that in much the same way, the real value-added of an EDS education is not fully visible or apparent under normal circumstances. Sure we see great results on standardized tests, and our graduates generally do exceedingly well in high school, often leading the way academically and otherwise. But when and how do we see and measure the value that is accrued over several (as many as 11) years in this place? When and how will we see the impact on some student who suddenly remembers touching a Medal of Honor or recalls a lesson Sgt. Davis imparted? How do we see the seeds that were planted a month ago when we had a world class marine biologist speak to our middle school? What is the cumulative effect of having so many teachers who love, nurture, challenge, and support them? How do we capture the benefit of the public speaking or authentic leadership opportunities that permeate our program? Is it possible that we underestimate the core strength and skills that can develop in a person who spends formative years in a community that prays daily, strives to understand the lessons of the Bible, and practices service to others? Is it even possible to overestimate?
What does it mean that so many young alumni visit former teachers and friends during their breaks? That they return to be married in the church here? What does it say that within only a couple of weeks of creating an EDS alumni group on Facebook, we had nearly 100 members?
Of course, the students will not always recognize or value the experiences they are having.
Even parents will occasionally lose sight of the health and beauty of the rich forest as they become overfocused on an imperfect tree or two. So we must remind each other of the big picture.
We cannot predict what challenges or opportunities life will present these children. What I do know is that they will have a deep and rich pool of experiences, skills, and tools from which to draw -- deeper and richer than almost anyone else their age. No doubt they will be prepared to manage the math problems and the writing assignments. But more importantly, they will have already practiced leadership, service, problem-solving, collaboration, and risktaking. And they will have done a significant amount of spiritual reading, writing, questioning, and reflecting. They will know what community looks and feels like, and what success and failure look and feel like. When the critical time comes, they will be well-prepared. Then it will be up to them.
--Ned R. Murray
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Embracing the Paradoxes of Being a Headmaster
Father Sawyer and I have just spent two days at the biennial conference of the National Association of Episcopal Schools. Throughout that time, I was privileged to spend several hours with one of the heroes of modern Christian education, Parker Palmer, whose books include A Hidden Wholeness: The Journey Toward an Undivided Life and The Promise of Paradox: A Celebration of Contradictions in the Christian Life. During that time he reminded me of two important messages.
First, he reminded me that most people have no idea what it is like to teach in a school, especially such a high-performing, mission-driven school like EDS. In fact, most people cannot possibly conceive of it unless they have done it or something like it. Even more to the point, they really have no idea what it’s like to be a headmaster in such a school. For fun, I’m trying to keep a running list of the various things that confront me in my work, the questions to answer, the problems to solve, the decisions to make, the demands on my time, etc. Unfortunately, most days I am too busy doing those things that I forget to add to the list. If I ever build a good list, I’ll post it.
Secondly, and more importantly, he reminded me that paradox is part of our natural, God-given state. He helped me re-discover that peace of mind and balance come from embracing the tensions of paradox in our lives and NOT trying to resolve or “win” them, as is our contemporary American way. The forces of good and evil, the tension of being and becoming, the passion for life and the acceptance of death – these are not resolvable by us. They are realities for us to accept, manage, and finally embrace.
The following two quotations capture well the very worst of being a headmaster and the very best. Seemingly opposite reflections, they are both true, at least for me. I have not shared them yet with the EDS faculty, but I intend to, and I suspect they will ring true for them as well. Perhaps they will resonate with you. If so, I hope you will post a comment.
The Violence of Modern Life by Thomas Merton: “There is a pervasive form of modern violence to which the idealist…most easily succumbs: activism and over-work. The rush and pressure of modern life are a form, perhaps the most common form, of its innate violence. To allow oneself to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender to too many demands, to commit oneself to too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything is to succumb to violence. The frenzy of the activist neutralizes his or her work… It destroys the fruitfulness of his or her…work, because it kills the root of inner wisdom which makes work fruitful” (published in 1968!).
The True Joy of Life by George Bernard Shaw: “This is the true joy in life, being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the community, and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it what I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.”
--Ned R. Murray
First, he reminded me that most people have no idea what it is like to teach in a school, especially such a high-performing, mission-driven school like EDS. In fact, most people cannot possibly conceive of it unless they have done it or something like it. Even more to the point, they really have no idea what it’s like to be a headmaster in such a school. For fun, I’m trying to keep a running list of the various things that confront me in my work, the questions to answer, the problems to solve, the decisions to make, the demands on my time, etc. Unfortunately, most days I am too busy doing those things that I forget to add to the list. If I ever build a good list, I’ll post it.
Secondly, and more importantly, he reminded me that paradox is part of our natural, God-given state. He helped me re-discover that peace of mind and balance come from embracing the tensions of paradox in our lives and NOT trying to resolve or “win” them, as is our contemporary American way. The forces of good and evil, the tension of being and becoming, the passion for life and the acceptance of death – these are not resolvable by us. They are realities for us to accept, manage, and finally embrace.
The following two quotations capture well the very worst of being a headmaster and the very best. Seemingly opposite reflections, they are both true, at least for me. I have not shared them yet with the EDS faculty, but I intend to, and I suspect they will ring true for them as well. Perhaps they will resonate with you. If so, I hope you will post a comment.
The Violence of Modern Life by Thomas Merton: “There is a pervasive form of modern violence to which the idealist…most easily succumbs: activism and over-work. The rush and pressure of modern life are a form, perhaps the most common form, of its innate violence. To allow oneself to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender to too many demands, to commit oneself to too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything is to succumb to violence. The frenzy of the activist neutralizes his or her work… It destroys the fruitfulness of his or her…work, because it kills the root of inner wisdom which makes work fruitful” (published in 1968!).
The True Joy of Life by George Bernard Shaw: “This is the true joy in life, being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the community, and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it what I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.”
--Ned R. Murray
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Veterans' Day Assembly Remarks
Welcome to our Veterans’ Day Assembly. Thanks to all of you for being here. Thanks to Trey and Ann Louisa, to the 2nd grade and their teachers, to the 5th grade and their teachers, to the other students and faculty who helped put this together. Thanks to Mr. Adams especially for organizing this wonderful assembly. Thanks most especially to the United States Army Signal Corps Band and Color Guard. Thank you for being here. We are very fortunate to have them. Let’s give them another warm round of thanks.
This is my favorite season, not just because of the wonderful crisp weather, football, and rolling out comfort food, but mostly because of how this season of thankfulness fills me with an attitude of gratitude. We just celebrated All Saints Day, All Souls Day, today we celebrateVeterans Day, and just around the corner is Thanksgiving -- an entire season in which we are asked to remember. To remember that the incredible bounty we enjoy -- the fruits we harvest in our lives -- come to us only because of the seeds sown by generations before us…all the way back to Abraham. And come to us only because of the generous grace of God.
And I have to mention this. You know, regardless of your politics, yesterday was an historic day. Historic because a man was elected president who IN MY LIFETIME, in many states would have been made to use a separate bathroom from white folks, drink from a different fountain, who would not have been granted the same opportunities of education and employment of so many of his fellow citizens. Despite your political leanings, you have to marvel at how far we have come in one generation. And again, that was only possible because of the incredible efforts and sacrifices of so many who came before.
Yesterday was also historic because EVERY SINGLE adult citizen had the opportunity to exercise the freedom to vote -- to practice self government. We talk about “the government” as though it’s some separate entity. But in this country, we the people practice self government. We ARE the government. And we the people protect our country, and our liberties, and our peace with the world’s largest volunteer citizen armed forces -- army, navy, marines, air force, and coast guard.
So it is especially appropriate, during this time of reaping, that we pause and remember those who, in service to our country, sowed seeds that grew into the fruits of liberty. We pause to honor the sacrificial service of our soldiers, past and present. We also pause to remind ourselves that the peace and freedom we enjoy came – and comes—often at great cost.
And we hope that in our remembering, our collective remembrance as a community, we also teach our children – some of them future soldiers -- that service to their country – service to these United States – is always an honorable sacrifice.
A few years ago, we were fortunate to be visited by Col. Jack Jacobs, who was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor for literally putting his life on the line to save his fellow servicemen. As he was speaking with a group of students about the importance of service to one’s country, I asked him about that and what it should look like. He said, “I believe following your dreams is service to your country. Be the best you can be at whatever you choose to do.” I have had this quotation on bulletin board since the day he was on campus.
Next week we will have an opportunity – or grades 5-8 will – to meet with yet another hero and recipient of the Congressional Medal of Honor, SFC Sammy L. Davis. And it is in events such as these at EDS that we remember, but we also hope to teach our children. To teach them of their obligations as citizens, of their allegiance to the flag and to the republic for which it stands – and in doing these things, we hope to lead them to fall more in love with their country.
As the apostle Paul teaches us, perfect love never forgets – and today, in remembrance of our veterans past, present, and future – we strive to love our country - and each and every one of our fellow citizens - more perfectly. And to exercise our rights and freedoms for good, for the betterment of mankind, and to more fully fulfill God’s purpose.
We are grateful for your attendance at today’s program. We are grateful to you parents and grandparents for sharing your children with us. Please rise for our benediction, followed by a moment of silent rememberance and the sounding of Taps. At the conclusion of Taps, please remain standing for the retiring of the colors.
--Ned Murray
This is my favorite season, not just because of the wonderful crisp weather, football, and rolling out comfort food, but mostly because of how this season of thankfulness fills me with an attitude of gratitude. We just celebrated All Saints Day, All Souls Day, today we celebrateVeterans Day, and just around the corner is Thanksgiving -- an entire season in which we are asked to remember. To remember that the incredible bounty we enjoy -- the fruits we harvest in our lives -- come to us only because of the seeds sown by generations before us…all the way back to Abraham. And come to us only because of the generous grace of God.
And I have to mention this. You know, regardless of your politics, yesterday was an historic day. Historic because a man was elected president who IN MY LIFETIME, in many states would have been made to use a separate bathroom from white folks, drink from a different fountain, who would not have been granted the same opportunities of education and employment of so many of his fellow citizens. Despite your political leanings, you have to marvel at how far we have come in one generation. And again, that was only possible because of the incredible efforts and sacrifices of so many who came before.
Yesterday was also historic because EVERY SINGLE adult citizen had the opportunity to exercise the freedom to vote -- to practice self government. We talk about “the government” as though it’s some separate entity. But in this country, we the people practice self government. We ARE the government. And we the people protect our country, and our liberties, and our peace with the world’s largest volunteer citizen armed forces -- army, navy, marines, air force, and coast guard.
So it is especially appropriate, during this time of reaping, that we pause and remember those who, in service to our country, sowed seeds that grew into the fruits of liberty. We pause to honor the sacrificial service of our soldiers, past and present. We also pause to remind ourselves that the peace and freedom we enjoy came – and comes—often at great cost.
And we hope that in our remembering, our collective remembrance as a community, we also teach our children – some of them future soldiers -- that service to their country – service to these United States – is always an honorable sacrifice.
A few years ago, we were fortunate to be visited by Col. Jack Jacobs, who was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor for literally putting his life on the line to save his fellow servicemen. As he was speaking with a group of students about the importance of service to one’s country, I asked him about that and what it should look like. He said, “I believe following your dreams is service to your country. Be the best you can be at whatever you choose to do.” I have had this quotation on bulletin board since the day he was on campus.
Next week we will have an opportunity – or grades 5-8 will – to meet with yet another hero and recipient of the Congressional Medal of Honor, SFC Sammy L. Davis. And it is in events such as these at EDS that we remember, but we also hope to teach our children. To teach them of their obligations as citizens, of their allegiance to the flag and to the republic for which it stands – and in doing these things, we hope to lead them to fall more in love with their country.
As the apostle Paul teaches us, perfect love never forgets – and today, in remembrance of our veterans past, present, and future – we strive to love our country - and each and every one of our fellow citizens - more perfectly. And to exercise our rights and freedoms for good, for the betterment of mankind, and to more fully fulfill God’s purpose.
We are grateful for your attendance at today’s program. We are grateful to you parents and grandparents for sharing your children with us. Please rise for our benediction, followed by a moment of silent rememberance and the sounding of Taps. At the conclusion of Taps, please remain standing for the retiring of the colors.
--Ned Murray
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